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堂本光一「今日から11月だなぁ」 堂本剛「うるせえ、死ね」

今日から11月1

「剛、今日から11月だな。今年も後2ヶ月だな……」
当たり障りの無い話題を相方に振る、国民的人気デュオグループKinKiKids(キンキキッズ)の、堂本光一。
「うるせえ」
「剛、どうしたんだ?」
「うるせえうるせえうるせえうるせえ」
急に、カルシムウ不足の少年ばりに切れ始める、堂本剛。

「どいつもコイツもよぉ……」ぶつぶつしながら、街に向かう堂本剛。
「剛、どうしたんや、お前……」
光一のその嘆きが、剛に聞こえる事はなかった。

「あっ、堂本剛さんだ」
「サインください」

基本、ファンに目撃されてもソッとしておいてくれるのだが、何故かこの日は違った。

「うるせえんだよ、テメえらっ!!」罵声を浴びせる、堂本剛。
「ひぃいいい><;;;」怖がる、自称ファンたち。
「どいつもコイツも、ドイツ人も、マジ……死ね! 死ね死ね死ね」
心が荒んでいる堂本剛だったが……街中で、一輪の可憐な花を発見したのだ。
ぶみ。堂本剛は、踏みつけた!!お花さんを……。
「ぎゃははははははははは」
狂喜乱舞する、堂本剛。
「何が愛だ。何がアイドルだ。何がジャニーズだ!! 何が愛だ。金儲けだろ」
ビルの屋上へと辿り着く、堂本剛。
「お前等は永遠に、堂本剛って偶像を愛してろ! リアル(現実)は愛さないんだろ!! 
 来月も、来年も、嘘を、嘘を愛し続けてろよ……。バカどもが! 俺は、鳥になるんだ!!」飛び降りた。
「うぎゃあああああああ><;;;」
落下地点には、TOKIOの、長瀬智也ベイベーがいた。
「あっ、ごめん……」
「気にするなよ、剛。俺達、友達じゃねえか!?」
「死ね。死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね死ね」

今日から11月2
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